King Gimp and Dena are In Bed with Eva

Known throughout the world as “King Gimp”, Dan is an artist who overcomes a daily battle with Cerebral Palsy to live a “normal” life. Dan took the name Gimp, which means “fighting, sprinted individual” as name to represent himself from an early age. He is an accomplished master painter, award-winning fine artist, and an inspiration to children and adults alike.

Pronouns: he/him

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Tell us your names and pronouns and a bit about what you do

Dan K:

Dan Keplinger, artist, and advocate

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

And Dena?

Dena:

Dena Huggler, Care-provider, advocate

Dena:

also a hippy

Dan K:

we both are

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Haha, awesome. Dan, I am curious about what your sex education was like growing up. I know you eventually went to a mainstream school when you were growing up but did you get the typical mainstream sex ed, or was it something else?

Dan K:

Really, I didn't any sex-ed classes until 12th grade. My Mom told me about puberty and the rest I got from word of mouth through friends.

Dan K:

and porn, it was my homework and Dena says it was effective.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Lol!!

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

That's really common! How was your 12th-grade sex-ed class?

Dan K:

I almost failed it

Dan K:

because the teacher wasn't that good

Dan K:

didn't keep my interest

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Ah, that makes sense.

Dan K:

I also give credit to my female friends because I was always the best friend.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

You say your art is a place that no one has to translate for you. Do you ever paint about sex? If yes, what has the response been to those pieces?

Dan K:

YES. Most people don't realize I use models from porn, but I did do a painting of me putting a VHS tape into a VCR and I put XXX on the tape.

Dan K:

not sure how many people caught it

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

That's awesome!

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Dena, How did you meet Dan, and what was your first impression of him?

Dena:

I was a nanny finishing up a long day and caught the film [King Gimp], happen to notice the TOWSON logo on the bus, and realized that we only lived about 15 miles apart. Back in the day, you could look up a person’s home phone in the directory.

Dena:

so I thought I should give him a call to introduce myself.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

That's very bold!

Dena:

I knew communication was difficult in the beginning stages, and I told him that I wanted to learn more about him and if we could communicate through email

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

That makes sense

Dena:

So, after months of going back and forth, we decided to meet. I brought over Chinese food and a six-pack of beer.

Dena:

We were merely friends, but how could you not fall in love with his dimples?

Dena:

they were shining like diamonds

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

awwwwww

Dena:

My first impression was he stuck his head in the doorway watching me walk down the dark hallway

Dena:

We both smiled and hugged each other, immediately my comfort level was right from the moment we met, even if we had challenges with communication...

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Awww, that's so sweet.

Dena:

you see....often so many people rely on words for the base of communication

Dena:

We've always had a language of our own, obviously, it being English, but it's more in-depth than that

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

I so get that; my partner and I also have developed a much deeper form of communication

Dena:

Our most guided communication is body language of eye expression and body movements

Dena:

It's so nice for others to understand this. Most people don't

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Dan, what was your first impression of Dena?

Dan K:

Dena had big boobs

Dan K:

Oh, I mean a big heart

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

hahahhaa

Dan K:

her heart was so swollen it made her boobs big

Dan K:

she was also openminded about everything

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Sounds like a great match, lol. Did any of your friends or family have a difficult time understanding your relationship at first?

Dan K:

Indeed.

Dan K:

[they were] confused really.

Dan K:

We too were. We were friends for about three years before we really understood what was going on.

Dan K:

but my family was skeptical because I was in the light of media and [they were] concerned of Denas intention

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

That makes sense. It sucks that your family felt skeptical of Dena's intentions.

Dena:

I had a daughter who was around 12 years old and she was absolutely first in my life. I asked her how she would feel about me dating Danny, that her decision was going to make the route of where this would all go.

Dena:

that I understood either which way and that out of respect, I wanted her to help guide me through it. She replied, "Mom, it would be an honor for you to be together.”

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

That's so sweet!

Dena:

I’m Asian, Vietnamese/American, and my culture is very fixated on disabilities much differently than here in America.

Dena:

So, my Sister, she stopped communicating with me for nearly three years over it.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

That's intense! How did that make you feel?

Dena:

My Sister was hard to get over. We invited her to our symbolic wedding, and out of all the invites, she was the first to respond. She said, Yes, I want to come. Surprised us totally. She stayed in the same hotel we were at, and Danny was in the lobby with friends. She knelt on her knees and begged for forgiveness.

Dena:

the photographer, not knowing what happened....photographed these moments and without needing interpretation, you could see this act without needing narrative.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Wow! That must have been intense and also a relief.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

When you two go out, do people ever mistake Dena for your aide or family member?

Dena:

ALL the time. Often they ask if I’m his Mom, then I go to Walmart to buy a bottle of Clairol.

Dena:

People also ask if I’m his care provider

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Yeah, I also get that a lot when I'm with my partner.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

No one ever thinks, "oh hey, those two might be a couple!"

Dena:

One time...

Dena:

a gentleman who was in the audience of one of our speaking engagements actually approached us afterward. He said, "I BET it's so easy".....

Dena:

Easy? Yes, easy taking care of Dan. I smiled, "how did you know, it IS very EASY! How do you know?"

Dena:

[he said] “I see the way you look at him.”

Dena:

He's the only person that has ever understood our union upon meeting us.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Yes, that's so cool and also so uncommon.

Dan K:

But we do make people very curious for sure

Dan K:

awe.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Dena, in regards to people mistaking you for Dan's caregiver/family, how do you help deal with interactions like that?

Dena:

Every situation is unique

Dena:

for example....for smaller children, I use more hugs and kiss him on the head

Dena:

I, too, do that for the seniors as well, when communication is challenging.

Dena:

The majority of folks, we constantly embrace the questions because it's a chance to inform folks

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

I totally agree. I am always down to explain to people that I am in a romantic relationship because I know not many people see that or are aware that it's possible for a disabled person to be in a relationship. My partner is also quick to say, "No. She's my partner."

Dan K:

I love that, we love that

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Dan, in your documentary, you talk about your fear of being alone for the rest of your life; when did that fear subside?

Dan K:

When I met Dena

Dan K:

I knew.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Awwwwwwww. That's adorable.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

What do you think of the societal response to sex and disability?

Dan K:

It is still a taboo topic

Dan K:

of which we believe we can help translate into an open-minded way

Dan K:

for instance, we belong to a swingers club

Dan K:

I think it holds many stereotypes

Dan K:

We use it to express ourselves and make it a teaching moment

Dan K:

We love to dance there, show people that romance is present

Dan K:

When we dine there, we sit as if we are at a top-notch restaurant with company.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Yes! I am a firm believer that if more people see people with disabilities have relationships and being sexual beings, the more society will open its mind to it.

Dan K:

indeed

Dan K:

there are several rooms [at the swingers club] which are accessible, and there's a choice of keeping the door open for others to watch or have it closed for private

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Oooooo

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

That's awesome, lol

Dan K:

We choose to leave it open. Education can happen in so many different places.

Dan K:

this is one of them.

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Hahaha, I love that so much!

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Well, Dan and Dena, it has been really fun chatting with you both. Is there anything else you want to say to our readers?

Dan K:

yes. It was very nice to meet you.

Dan K:

Pleasure is ours

Dan K:

thank you!

Cripping Up Sex With Eva:

Thanks so much for chatting with me.

 

Follow: @DanKKinggimp

Website: http://wwsw.kinggimp.com/

Email: dank@kinggimp.com